So You’re Trying To Get a Remote Job So you’re trying to get a remote job and finally live the fantasy life where you can make money while sitting at home, wearing sweatpants that probably haven’t been washed since election week, sipping iced coffee like a personality trait, complaining about capitalism on TikTok, and pretending your “work from home lifestyle” is a deeply intentional wellness decision.
Cute. Inspirational. Very on brand.
Remote jobs have become the modern American dream — right up there with being financially stable, not paying $7 for oat milk upcharges, and miraculously avoiding burnout. And honestly? Who wants to commute? Who wants to wear “real clothes” ever again?
If we can get through meetings half asleep while cuddling a weighted blanket… why are we not doing that?
Let’s break down this not-so-glamorous yet hilariously overrated process like the unfiltered coffee-addicted millennials/gen-z hybrids we are.
🥇 Step One — Accept The New Reality: Remote Jobs Are Basically Hunger Games… Except Virtually
Everyone wants remote roles. EVERY. ONE.
Your mom wants one. Your cousin wants one. That random person you met ONCE in a Starbucks line is currently applying to the exact same job listing you are staring at right now.
The competition is savage because we are all tired.
Corporate America Summary:
Nobody wants to go back to fluorescent office hell.
So the new remote job ecosystem looks kind of like this:
- 10,000 people apply to the same remote posting
- Half of them don’t even have the required skillset
- The other half lie about it
- 0.7% somehow get interviews
- 1 person gets hired
- And that person probably had a secret referral from someone named Chad
So if this feels like actual emotional warfare… correct. You are paying attention.
This is not normal. But it is our reality. So let’s emotionally adapt.
🧠 Step Two — You Need A Resume That Looks Like You Do Deep Work For A Living (Even If You Don’t)
Remote employers can’t see you.
So your resume is the only proof that you’re not some chaotic internet raccoon with a laptop and vibes.
This thing needs to look like it was formatted inside the Apple HQ glass spaceship laboratory.
Rules for 2025 remote resumes:
- 1 PAGE (remote recruiters are tired & overstimulated)
- Metrics. Metrics. Metrics.
- Talk impact not tasks
- Focus on async collaboration skills (this is the new religion)
- Insert tech stack mentions that sound believable not sci-fi
Good resume bullets sound like:
- Increased organic TikTok traffic 23% in 90 days by creating high-retention scroll-stopping short-form content
- Automated weekly reporting → reduced 5 hours work for team (we love time saving illusions)
Do NOT write like a 7th grader explaining their first lemonade stand business.
Remote job recruiters need to know you can contribute without someone breathing down your neck.
If you can’t self-manage, remote jobs will drag you by the soul.
💬 Step Three — People Get Remote Jobs Through Networking Not “Applying” (Yes, It Hurts To Admit)
LinkedIn is no longer a platform.
LinkedIn is an influencer-driven, corporate thirst trap arena where adults roleplay being professional personalities while secretly trauma dumping through achievements.
You must play this game.
Networking Rules for Remote Roles (2025 Hard Mode):
- DM hiring managers (nicely. not desperate)
- DM employees who already work remotely at places you like
- DM alumni from your school because alumni like flexing “supportive mentor arc energy”
- Comment on posts like you are adding value not like you’re trying to sell crypto
- Post your own thought threads (you are NOT cringe, you are “building digital presence”)
People get remote jobs because someone “recommended them internally” not because they had the prettiest resume.
Cold applying still works… theoretically.
Just like hoping your Hinge match texts back also theoretically works.
But referrals hit different.
😎 Step Four — Learn To Talk Like A Remote Person In Interviews (AKA: Strategic Chill)
Remote HR interview energy is different.
They want you to SOUND like someone who can do work independently and not panic every time a Slack notification arrives like a nuclear alert.
How to talk remote competent:
- Say you love async communication
- Say you hate micromanagement and thrive with autonomy
- Say you document your process (HR melts inside over this)
- Say you’re good at setting boundaries for deep focus hours
Example line to steal:
“I prefer async-first workflows because it allows me to produce better quality and reduces unnecessary meeting load.”
(Silicon Valley founders will literally propose with a ring after this sentence.)
Remote employers want self-managed grown adults who don’t need digital babysitting.
They are trying to avoid hiring someone who goes offline at 3PM to “touch some grass” for the rest of eternity.
Yes, remote burnout is undefeated — but we pretend we are balanced anyway.
📱 Step Five — Build An Online Presence (Fake Influence > Real Experience Sometimes)
You want remote jobs?
You need receipts. Digital receipts. Internet receipts. Personality receipts.
Hiring managers stalk you.
Yes they do.
They check your LinkedIn, TikTok, personal site, maybe even Instagram.
So make the internet believe:
- you are a real strategist
- you have real POV
- you actually do work
- you are not secretly unhinged (publicly)
- you know things about your niche
Start posting breakdowns, case studies, thought threads, short “mini frameworks” — Gen Z loves frameworks like they’re collectible Pokémon cards.
And no… you don’t need to be some 100k follower social media beast.
Just show you are serious.
Remote employers can’t see you IRL — so your online digital aura is your first impression.
🎯 Step Six — Apply Smart Not Everywhere Like You Are Panic Throwing Digital Spaghetti
Don’t waste time applying to every remote job like some desperate romantic sending copy-paste pickup lines on dating apps.
Strategic applications > mass applications.
Places that actually have honest remote hiring energy:
- Wellfound
- Hired
- WeWorkRemotely
- FlexJobs
- Remote.co
- YC Jobs
- Startup specific career pages
Then narrow down by niche.
Remote hiring is easier if you niche like a person who has therapy-level self awareness.
Examples:
- remote social media for SaaS
- remote customer success for fintech
- remote growth for DTC brands
- remote product analyst for consumer apps
The narrower you go, the faster you find oxygen.
Remote hiring managers do not want “generic.”
They want someone who can drop into their team and not flop like an iPhone battery in January.
😴 Step Seven — The Lazy Reality People Don’t Admit: Remote Work Is 70% Self Discipline + 30% Pretending You Have It
When you finally land remote work the joke begins.
This lifestyle sounds glamorous but actually looks like:
- Working while your bed calls your name seductively
- Slack messages interrupting your doomscrolling
- Eating cereal at 1 PM and calling it “brunch”
- Googling symptoms of burnout weekly
- Telling yourself you’ll “wake up earlier tomorrow” for 9 months straight
Remote jobs don’t ruin you — lack of structure ruins you.
Your biggest threat is not HR.
Your biggest threat is YOU.
And TikTok.
And Netflix autoplay.
And DoorDash showing “free delivery if you order within 13 minutes.”
Remote life is a battle you do alone in your pajamas.
This is why remote employers ask behavioral questions like they’re trying to measure your emotional stamina not your degree.
🏁 Step Eight — The Universe Rewards Those Who Just Never Stop Applying
The most insane part of this entire thing:
You don’t need to be the best.
You don’t need to be the smartest.
You don’t need to be the most experienced.
You just need to outlast all the other exhausted people who eventually burn out mentally and stop applying entirely.
Remote job hiring is a marathon of stubbornness.
Most people quit the journey before it lands.
You stay consistent → you win.
This is literally the secret.
Stupidly simple.
Emotionally painful.
But extremely real.
💡 Conclusion
If you survived reading this whole chaotic reality check disguised as a helpful guide — wow. Impressive attention span. You are built different.
Now go get your coffee, fix your resume, DM strangers on LinkedIn like a polite corporate outlaw, and apply strategically until the algorithm gods finally grant you the sweet, glorious remote life you crave.
It is possible.
People land remote roles every single day while wearing pajama shorts and using sarcastic Twitter as a coping mechanism.
You just need to keep going long enough to become one of them.
Click here for read another Blog:- How To Get Your First Job With Zero Experience